The Gottman Method: what couples therapy is like and how to find a Gottman therapist

How Gottman Method couples therapy works

It starts with an assessment. The Gottman Institute says couples begin with:

1. a joint session together
2. individual interviews with each partner
3. written questionnaires
4. detailed feedback on the relationship

The Institute’s training course adds that the assessment includes an oral history interview and observing how the couple handles a conflict.

Then therapy. The Institute says sessions focus on three areas: friendship, managing conflict and building shared meaning, with attention to preventing relapse. You and your therapist decide how often and for how long to meet, so ask what they expect.

What the training levels mean

Someone with Level 1 training can say they completed Level 1. That’s different from being certified.

Where to find a Gottman therapist

The Gottman Referral Network (gottmanreferralnetwork.com) is free to search. The Institute says:

• every listed therapist has at least Level 2 training
• therapists shown in gold are Certified Gottman Therapists
• listed therapists must be licensed in the state where they practice
• the Institute doesn’t supervise or monitor the therapists, and fees are set by each therapist; many accept insurance when it applies

You can search by state, including Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia and Alabama, and filter for certified therapists, insurance accepted, online therapy and intensives. Each listing shows “Certified since,” “Level 3 Trained” or “Level 2 Trained.”

One caution: some therapists in state results are based in other states and offer online sessions. A therapist has to be licensed in the state where you are during sessions, so check their license. Our fit guide explains how.

Workshops and intensives

Workshops are education, not therapy.

When the Gottman Institute says to get other help first

The Institute says its workshops may not be appropriate for couples dealing with addiction, domestic violence or other serious relationship issues, and recommends counseling with a Gottman-trained therapist instead. For marathon therapy, it says it isn’t suitable when there’s serious violence, threats of serious violence or fear of it, among other situations. Gottman’s Level 2 training teaches therapists when the method is and isn’t appropriate where there’s domestic violence.

If your partner hurts or threatens you, start with individual support. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. Our couples counseling guide has more.

Questions to ask a Gottman therapist

• “What level of Gottman training do you have, or are you a Certified Gottman Therapist?”
• “What does your assessment include, and how long does it take?”
• “How often do you usually meet with couples, and for how long?”
• “Do you offer online sessions, and are you licensed in my state?”

Cost and format

Fees are set by each therapist. Insurance often doesn’t pay for couples therapy focused on the relationship itself; our insurance guide explains why, and our EAP guide covers free sessions that sometimes include couples.

Finding Gottman therapists on LunahUP

LunahUP doesn’t have a Gottman filter yet. Search your city for marriage and family therapists, then check the Gottman Referral Network for each therapist’s level.

The short version

• Gottman Method therapy starts with an assessment: a joint session, individual interviews, questionnaires and feedback.
• Sessions focus on friendship, conflict and shared meaning. You and the therapist set the pace.
• Level 1 is an introductory course. Certified Gottman Therapists complete a two-year program.
• The Gottman Referral Network lists therapists with at least Level 2 training, with certified therapists in gold.
• If there’s violence in the relationship, start with individual support.